


Fallen For A Lie

by fiveisarat



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Billie Eilish Song, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Gay, James Bond - Freeform, M/M, Madeleine Swann - Freeform, Movie: Skyfall (2012), No Time To Die (movie), Not Actually Unrequited Love, POOR FUCKING Q IM SORRY, Poor Q, Post-SPECTRE, Quartermaster, Smut, So much angst, Spoilers, Violence, but still, might continue idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:00:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24164764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveisarat/pseuds/fiveisarat
Summary: James Bond had left MI6. Finding love was easier than he'd thought, but Madeleine Swann just had a way of getting through any emotional barrier he put up around himself. Retiring was also easy. M had agreed, wishing him luck and happiness. Bond had smiled and shook his hand.Q was not as easy. Q confused him. He was complicated and, well...There really is just no time to die.~ or, the post SPECTRE fic that just makes me sad. hitting myself right in the feels. ~
Relationships: James Bond/Madeleine Swann, James Bond/Q
Comments: 7
Kudos: 88





	Fallen For A Lie

**Author's Note:**

> I have absolutely no business with a new fic, but here we are. This is set between SPECTRE and No Time To Die. 
> 
> Btw: because my impulse control is absolutely fucking *nada*, here's the Spotify playlist for this fic.  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7zhexCU6zDezr9GDjFAeaa

Q should not have been as affected by this as he was. 

The whole thing was supposed to have been casual. Getting the excess energy out of his system and nothing more. He wasn't expecting falling for short-cropped blonde hair or bright blue eyes. Hard muscles and deep voices. He hadn't wanted to fall. 

But then, he'd sort of just given up- given up fighting it and just drowned in it. In his smiles and their inside jokes and the way he ran his fingers through Q's wild black hair as they lay in their post-sex haze. It hurt. It hurt so much to do, knowing he was so close to nothing to the Double-0, only valued because of his intellect and position at MI6. He should have known something like this would happen. 

And he didn't resent Madeleine, not really. He was jealous, to put it simply, and he was sad. Lonely. He was glad James was happy. And though he'd never let his feelings slip to the agent in the first place, he didn't show any of his inner turmoil to Bond. He knew it showed to those who knew him best, M and R and Tanner and Eve- but he found that he was valuing their opinions on his situation less and less.

He should have known this would be a given. Madeleine Swann, from the moment he met her, that she had a million secrets, that she was clearly an intellectual equal to the man he was secretly in love with, and had been for almost a year since Skyfall. She was pretty, and dangerous, and was a match for the spy in every way he could see. She was perfect. Who could fault Bond for wanting her?

He often felt himself remembering. The memories never left, didn't fade in the slightest. The nights James would drag him away from his desk and take him home. The sex, the _incredible_ sex. And sometimes the way James would hold him after. When James had nightmares, Q would wake him up and hold him until the tremors stopped. Sometimes they would go out and get ice cream and walk in the park near MI6. Simple things that felt less like friends-with-benefits and more like things couples do- but Q never pushed, and never told the spy how he felt. If he was rejected, he'd fall apart. Yes, he really was in that deep. 

He was sitting at his desk, late that night, looking down at his phone, a seemingly simple conversation between himself and Bond. He forced his emotions down. The Double-0 wanted to see him. _Him._ Probably to apologize for stealing the car, which Q was still miffed about, and the bottle of Bollinger champagne James had left him sitting in his desk drawer. He hadn't touched it since he'd found it in the place of the DB10. 

_Q, I need to talk to you._

**_What do you need?_ **

_Just to talk to you._

**_Don't get caught._ **

There was no reply, so he'd assumed the agent understood, and Q had done his best to put it out of his mind. Now here he was almost three hours later, and he was finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate. He really should have been home. It was late, even for him, and R was the only other person there, if only to make sure he actually got home that night. He sat back in his chair, staring out of the windows at late-night London, feeling exhaustion creeping up on him but doing nothing to stop it. He sat up as R opened the door. 

"Sir, um, it's double oh- It's Commander Bond, sir." She looked at him as if she saw more in him, knew more of his feelings than he did himself. "I'll let him in?" 

"Yes, yes, do let him in," Q echoed. He closed his eyes. He was not ready for this. 

"Q." 

His name on the other man's lips never got old. He opened his eyes lazily and tried not to gasp. 

You see, James Bond had brought him food. Specifically from his favorite Thai place down the street from MI6, the place they went when they were too tired to go out. Q eyed it warily. He used to bring Q food when he still worked at MI6, making sure he ate something substantial every day, as the boffin often forgot to eat or sleep if he was particularly engrossed in a project. It made his heart pinch that he had done it, that he'd remembered... he guessed maybe they both knew that they had lost something when James left. 

"Now I know you want something. You wouldn't bring me food if it wasn't important." He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the desk. 

Bond shook his head. "I don't want anything." 

"You could at least apologize for the car," Q said sarcastically, "I was in deep shit for that with M." He opened the bag and almost let out a groan at how good it all smelled. He'd had tea and biscuits earlier that day, but he couldn't recall when, and his appetite woke and his stomach grumbled. He ignored it and took out the food, all his favorites.

He saw Bond's smirk. "I left you champagne. Your favorite kind, if I recall correctly." 

"Well, you're getting older. Who knows," Q quipped, hoping just to keep it together. There was an awkward silence, Q opening his takeout container and letting his hair fall over his face. James slid his hands into his pockets.

He swallowed the noodles in his mouth, "So why are you here, other than to bring me food? Which you didn't have to do, by the way." 

"I know," James said, "But I know you forget to eat sometimes, so I figured it would be a good idea." Q looked up at the blonde, then away. He knew James felt it too, by the way he closed his eyes a moment too long for a blink. 

"Thank you," Q mumbled, reaching for the cup of cold tea on his desk, but James jerked his chin towards the bag. He gave the ex-agent a quizzical look and looked into the bag. A cup of takeaway tea from the cafe near Q's flat. He could feel his eyes widening as he took it out, blew on it and took a sip. He closed his eyes and savored the simple, familiar taste of Earl Grey tea. He opened his eyes to find Bond staring intently at him. 

Q cleared his throat and put the tea down. "Get to the point, please. Why are you here?" 

"I... just wanted to make sure we were okay," he said, and Q frowned slightly. 

"What?" 

"I left suddenly. And I realized I didn't really tell you goodbye."

Q arched an eyebrow. "You came back. Brought me food. To tell me goodbye even though you've been gone for two weeks."

"Yes," and James' voice was so steady, meeting Q's gaze and holding it. Q was the first to tear his eyes away. 

"We are not doing this." He said, hoping his voice didn't wobble or crack and undermine his point completely. Sleeping with the former Double-0 would not only be wrong to Madeleine, and against his personal moral code, but to know that he'd wake up to either James leaving, or wake up holding the man that he knew would go back to Madeleine. 

"That's not what I'm asking," James said, shooting Q a look. The boffin just shook his head and stared into his cup. 

"I don't understand why you're here." He said finally. "You wanted to tell me goodbye. Here's your chance." He made a point of pulling out his tablet and scrolling through emails, sighing inwardly. How did Team Delta manage to cock up this one? A simple mission with a Double-0, it really shouldn't have been hard- 

"I missed you." 

Q's head shot up. "I'm sorry?" 

"I missed you," James said. "And I came to tell you that... Madeleine and I have separated." He shrugged. "Conflict of interests, and we were better as friends." 

Q stared. "I... I'm sorry," he said quietly. He really did feel bad- even if his heart was leaping for joy. 

"You're sorry?" He looked as if he couldn't understand what the boffin was saying, and Q's heart twisted. 

"Yes," Q said. "I'm sorry it didn't work out." 

"Well, I'm not," James declared. "I'm not sorry it didn't work out. I'm sorry I left you." 

Q sat up straighter. "You do realize we were never anything more than friends. You fell in love. You don't have to apologize." His voice was more bitter than he'd wanted, he knew it showed, he knew he was exposing how he felt but he couldn't stop himself. He clamped his mouth shut to avoid spilling everything. 

"That's just it, we should have been more." James said, placing his hands on Q's desk. "We should have been, because I fell in love with you, and I was scared and then Madeleine came along, and she was easy to understand, whereas you're incredibly complex-" he cut himself off. "And I ran, because you're so complicated, and I've never loved anybody that way."

Q just gaped. "You... you were in love with me?" It comes out higher than he'd have liked, he felt like he was walking on ice and at any second James would straighten up, laugh at Q and go back to where he belonged, wherever he'd been before this. 

"I _am_ in love with you." Q looked away, not daring to believe him. 

"I... I've been in love with you since Skyfall," he whispered, still not looking up. "I was in love with you all this time. I'm pretty sure even Eve knew. I didn't want to tell you, I didn't want anything to change." His voice was shaking, he could feel a lump in his throat and he willed himself furiously not to cry. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he could hear James, heard his voice break on the last word and Q felt himself start to cry. James rounded the desk and pulled Q up, into his arms. Q could feel James' tears and he buried his face in James' neck and breathed in his warm, familiar scent. James was murmuring apologies, and _I love you_ s, and- 

"I'm just glad you're home." Q whispered. 

"Shouldn't have left in the first place," James' rough voice said quietly in his ear. Q just held him closer. 

"I love you," Q dared to whisper, and James pulled him in to kiss him. 

"And I love you." 


End file.
